Mark: My name is Markiplier. Mark: This is Tyler, who are you? Ethan: 𝘏𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴. Mark: Heepass? Ethan: The resurrection of Christ? Mark: Now when I was a child I couldn't afford to do Easter Eggs, we couldn't even afford eggs. Mark: I've never tie-dyed anything in my life. Tyler: Wait, really? Mark: Never. No. Mark: I grew up poor. Mark: Like, we couldn't even afford shirts. Let alone color them Mark: or paint the shirts…
Ethan: Every- Ethan: Every video. Mark: So we're gonna be doing something nice. Mark: Something, really, like, fun, it's more of a craft thing it's… Mark: Naaaaaaaaaaailsss! Mark: 𝘼𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙖𝙤𝙬! Tyler: Ready? Mark:ＡＡＡＡＡＡＡＡ- Mark: You want one?
Tyler: Ethan's over here free. Mark: OH GOD, NO THAT LOOK. Mark: I DON'T LIKE THAT FA-A-A-A-A-CE! Ethan: I see that ass. Mark: 𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨- Tyler: I DON'T KNOW. Mark: 𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀- Mark: You wanna smoke some grass? Mark: You call Heepass. Tyler: You have a test to pass… you dont ca- Ethan: We have the 𝑷 𝑨 𝑨 𝑺 Mark: It's German. What does it mean? Mark: You're don-… Mark: You're don-…WHAT. Ethan: I was trying to make a shock-mount! Mark: A SHO- Mark: A SHO-HO Mark: A SHO-HO-HA-HA Ethan: Awh, okay… Ethan: …I dunno… Ethan: Sex is great, but you ever had a PIE? Mark: Measuring is for pussies. Ethan: You want gloves? Mark: I'd like some gloves. Tyler: Why is it that every video you guys have to have some sort of gif or clip that makes it super sexual? Ethan: No. Mark: No.. Mark: *giggling* No Mark: Jesus Christ Ethan: This is not a whisk. Mark: These nails of mine are grOss Mark: You wanna live fast? Follow Heepass' rules.
Ethan: Y E H! Mark: Microwave a brick. Fuck! Mark: Do we have shirts to tie– Tyler: No! Your face. Ethan: OOOoooh… Mark: UGH. Tyler: WHY!? Tyler: Every video!… Mark: Agh, it's really hot! 𝗔𝗔𝗔𝗔𝗔𝗔𝗔𝗔𝗔 Mark: You wanna, like, say something before it dies? Ethan: OooOoo oOOoOo oOooOo FrIeNdS fRiEnDs DoOdOoDoO… Mark: Guys, you're not listening. Stop mixing just dry powder. Ethan: But doesn't it taste good? What is this? What is this? What? What is this? Well, it says that… What? We– BUTWHATISIT? Mark: What are you doing? Ethan: Don't you dare talk to heapass like that. Mark: You're right, I apologize. Mark: Oh, I'm gonna get so many bits of paper in mine… Ethan: Good enough… Tyler: My god…! But here's something that others don't know. We're gonna make these shirts, but we're not gonna do it with our eyes. We're gonna do it with our souls. Like making love. You don't do with your eyes, you don't do it your body. You do it with your heart, and your soul. Tyler: You got a large soul. Mark: Thank you. I know. About time someone notices. Ethan: You have a medium… penis. Mark: What are you laughing at? Ethan: My crea- OW! Ffffffff 𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼𝑼 Mark: YoU nEeD tO dO mUlTiPlE cOlOrS. There's multiple colors in this one. ..I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Mark: Tell 'em the definition of burgeoning. Ethan: Burgeoning. One who burgeons… in the fIEieIEiEiEld. One who… likes to burgeon themselves. Mark: So glad I paid for all your improv lessons… Ethan: You're welcome..? Mark: The filling is the most important part of any pie. Tell 'em about it. Ethan: Aeiou! If you don't have a filling in your pie you don't have a 𝘱𝘪𝘦, fffuckhole..! Tyler: Why are you still over there?
Ethan: Why are you over-minding your business, bitch? Mark: You've been bad this Easter. Mark: Do it again. Mark: You too! Mark: Not me. Mark: You! Ow… Fuckin'… Kill you… DAH! …ow. Mark: We don't have time to go around anywhere. Ethan: OH MY GOD YOU HIT MY ELBOW. Mark: IT'S NOT MY FAULT?! Mark: How am I supposed to talk to you, Heepass? Ethan: Kindly. Use your inside voice. Mark: Heepass, you're a- Ethan: Oh, Heepass knows! Ethan: You ever just give up completely? Mark: What? Goddamn you, both of you! Mark: No! You can't just say things are okay then they're okay! Mark: No!!! Ethan: You just say "Hey it's all right," then you go on with your day. Mark: No!! Ethan: I didn't pay taxes in 2016, that's all right. Mark: Hey, you close? You close? Yeah, you close?! Mark: All right, I think it's good.
Ethan: I think you need some time alone… Ethan: Oh no. Oh no! Have my fingers leaked through?
Mark: Red? I already got red! Ethan: You'll never forget this day..! This… this…!! Mark: All right, let's see if there's one… Mark: Put this. Put this in your mouth. Put it in your mouth! Mark: You see, mine doubled in size. Mine's freaking huge! Mark: Mine's huuuuuuuge! Mark: Larry, it's time to avenge your brother Barry. Ethan: What…are we doing? No, you have to start over. Mark: Right hand. Tyler: I-No! Mark: You're-You're at the advantage! You're the only one who is ambidextrous! Mark: You're-You're at the advantage! You're the only one who is ambidextrous!
Tyler: NO! Mark: You're-You're at the advantage! You're the only one who is ambidextrous! Tyler: No. It isn't! It is distinctly different, look it up!
Mark: All in favour in it being the same thing say "Aye". [Everyone except Tyler]: Aye! Tyler: It's.. not! Mark: All posed? Tyler: ME! The only person who has the right to vote in this. Mark: All right, well, the only person with the right to vote didn't vote correctly. They said me instead of nay. Mark: The motion has passed! That was democracy in action. Just because you aren't- Tyler: Democracy is a failure as a government. Mark: Oh well, that's another topic for another day! Mark: It looks like you cut off someone's face… Mark:..and put it on your pie. Ethan: It's a boat, right..? Mark: It's a boat… Tyler: Just, uh, crispin' the bottom a little bit. Mark: No soggy bottoms here! E&T: [in unison] No soggy bottoms. Mark: No so-.. Mark: You-Whoever wants to go first. Ethan: I'll go first. Tyler: Okay.
Mark: Yeah, kill that thing. Who knows? Maybe this tastes really good, I don't think so… You fill this up with water, please. Tyler: [unintelligible] That's my pieces! Tyler: Wh-Why are you just the majority? Ethan: OOOH MY GOD. IT'S A BOAT! Mark: It's a BOOOOAAAAAAA Hey, stop rubbing. Cut it out. Get some help. Thank you everybody so much for watching. This has been another Markiplier Makes. They're slowly getting out of my control. I won't be able to contain the beasts for much longer. Run while you still have life in your loves and thank you me… for being who I am and having the patience and grace to deal with these two idiots beside me. Thanks again for watching and as always, see you in the next video! buh-bye! Tyler: Bye!! Mark: Bye! Ethan: Bye!