Lessons from a mama monkey (the silent epidemic that’s not being talked about)


– Hey there you guys, it’s Irene Lyon and I’m not in my normal
living room as you can see. I’m actually, wait for it. (wind blows) I’m on the beautiful island
called Sangat in the Philippines and I’m here with my mom,
my dad, my husband Seth and we’re just having little R and R. There was some family
celebrations happening in Manila so we thought we’d have
few days in paradise. This is definitely paradise. And I took some great footage of monkeys yesterday in the back in the jungle and it got me thinking
about child-rearing. Now if you’re new to me, then
you might not know what I do. I am all about healing at
the nervous system level and helping people heal from trauma. There’s all sorts of traumas, whether it’s early traumas from surgeries, premature birth trauma
that is due to abuse I mean all sorts of trauma. But that’s not what this video is about. This video is about what some people with the Center of Disease Control in the United States would
call the silent epidemic and the silent epidemic is
child abuse, believe it or not. And what we’re finding in the research is that when there has
been early adversity from a young age it ends
up such that in adult life there is illness, whether
it’s metal illness, heart disease, immune related problems, autoimmune diseases, even
things like back pain and obesity, trouble losing weight. All have been linked to early childhood stress and adversity. Now here is the thing. I saw this momma and her little baby and just the care that she
was giving it was so simple and you could see that this little one was so safe and so
secure and so well kept. And this is what we need
to give our children, our young, and yet so many
of our young don’t get that and I know that because
being in the field, I hear about not just
horrific stories of abuse, but subtle, insidious little things that we deem socially acceptable but they’re actually really abusive. Verbally abusive, mental, emotional abuse that we pass off as discipline
or toughening up a kid and it’s just not good stuff. So bottom line, we want
to treat our children with respect, with love,
with boundaries, with care. Often, if a parent can’t provide that, it’s not because it’s their fault. It’s because they were
not given that themselves so there’s this vicious
cycle that’s going on and it’s really a parent in America and North American cultures. Here in the Philippines,
you just don’t see that. Kids actually have very little anxiety. They’re very independent. They’re very strong in their selves. They don’t have the kind
of edge that you see a lot in North American kids. I don’t know the stats, but I’m sure there are way less children here in this country on medicines for ADD and
depression and anxiety than there are in the United States. I’m positive, I’m not
even going to look it up because I know it’s true and it has to do with just a different
type of child-rearing that happens over here. So I’m gonna head over to the video. I’m gonna get you to watch it right now. It’s really simple, it’s not, you know, it’s just this really lovely clip. But it’s something that I would
love for you to think about because if you struggle to parent or if you were someone who was parented with a little bit of harshness, with a little bit of
emotional disconnection, that messes up with
the child’s physiology. It messes up with your future, with your baby’s physiology and either A, you want to seek out help so that you can learn
how to connect better and with greater safety with your young, or if you are an adult and you know you had that kind of adversity, please know that you are not hardwired and you don’t have to stay that way. There are ways to improve
the nervous system health and get it back into a sense of safety, but it’s not a quick fix,
it’s not an overnight fix. I’ll link up some of my other videos below this so that you can go
and check those things out, those messages out, but for now, check out this little momma or the
momma and her little baby. It’s very, very cute. – That’s what we call In Arms In Arms child rearing. Hi little guy. You’re okay. (upbeat electronic music) Wooo, that’s a big guy. – Look at that guy. Don’t wanna get in his way. – [Seth] No. (electronic music)

8 Comments

  1. Amy Phoenix said:

    Thanks and I'm glad you're speaking to parents in this. As a mom of five and trauma survivor I definitely relate to the importance of what you're sharing.

    March 3, 2016
    Reply
  2. Dana Humphrey said:

    What about a baby being taken to childcare providers at a very early age? This is also a problem right? In our society we dont think of it since moms are working, but this is setting a child up for nervous system trauma. I was taken to childcare at one month old because my mom had to work. And unfortunately I didnt know any better at the time and took my son to childcare at about 5 mths of age.

    April 26, 2016
    Reply
  3. Erica Mau said:

    Big Fan of work and videos thank you. Would love for you to be my mentor, such compassion for others.

    June 21, 2016
    Reply
  4. Tom Olliver said:

    This is an awesome video. I can't believe it's got 5 dislikes. I wanna give it 5 likes.

    June 13, 2017
    Reply
  5. Jan Skovajsa said:

    Unfortunately, the video is not available here in Europe.

    June 16, 2017
    Reply
  6. Eliane Sainte-Marie said:

    I'm so excited to see that you recommend The Continuum Concept!!! That book was my parenting bible and I credit its author for the incredible ease and harmony I experienced in my family, and the wonderful sense of self my 3 adult daughters have as a result of the way they've been parented.

    As a parenting coach now, it's the basis of most of my work and I continue to be in awe of the changes that happen in the families who work with me, as they integrate principles like seeing children as innately good, being on the same team, being a clear and benevolent leader, providing lots of empathy and making sure their needs for connection, safety and mattering are fully met.

    Here's an article I wrote on Applying The Continuum Concept to Modern Day Parenting: http://www.coachingforwholeness.com/blog/applying-the-continuum-concept-philosophy-to-modern-day-living.

    Thank you so much for all the work you do, Irene!

    July 7, 2017
    Reply
  7. Katlego Nakedi said:

    I'm a new Mama from South Africa and would love to watch this video Irene, but it says that it's unavailable? Can you please reload it? Thank you 🙂

    November 17, 2017
    Reply
  8. HELP The Homeless said:

    Y do deamons sorround u . sad

    February 25, 2018
    Reply

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