Internet Comment Etiquette: “Online Psychics”


Well, hey there, everybody, welcome th’ internet comment Etiquette. I’m your host Big Money Salvia. I love big money. I’m all about the big money and today we’re going to talk about how to leave comments for online psychics. Isn’t that going to Be fun? But it’s not going to take an online psychic to guess who I’m about the tweet to. Haha, @Ted Cruz your zodiac reading for the day the dark hood calls to you from the closet How long has it been? “Long enough,” you finally admit. And fulfill prophecy. [Old timey music] [My dad left me] [God is coming to reap the sinners] Alright, well now let’s watch an online psychic in action. This guy actually figured out where the missing Malaysian flight 370 ended up. After all the video title “is missing Malaysia plane found by psychic.” So he found it? Great! Let’s find out where it is. I-I meditated And try to focus on the plane and asked a series of questions [Erik] Uh-huh. [“physhic”] The first question being what happened, and I got a simple one-word reply, And that was, “magnets.” [Erik] alright, let’s check out some of these comments Why don’t you ever read the headlines psychic wins the lottery? [“Psychic”] And you’ve got four pieces of land? Not big enough to be called islands they’re more like big rocks The only positive thing I can really say about this video is that at least Keith has chosen not to disable ratings and comments So that an open debate can be had on the subject of psychic capabilities. LOL, what an idiot Reported! From me, too And I’m convinced that even though It’s not on all the maps, there are people who are familiar with the terrain in the area Who will know exactly what I’m talking about? Will know where to look. Had dream today, dog licking hand and bottle of spirits. What you see at that? [Erik] Alright, pretty great comments But what I’m getting from the videos that the plane could Potentially, be literally anywhere, and literally anything could have happened to it. uuumm So that said, let’s thank this guy for closing the case Great video, dude. My favorite part was probably right after your camera guy stopped recording when you asked him, “Hey, think anyone will buy this.” You know, before you both started laughing and pegging each other with Rolled-up euros. Think anyone will buy this you know before you both started laughing and pegging each other with Rolled-up euros one love and flip a quarter One love and flip a quarter into my butthole for good luck. Big money Salvia over and out and ZAP. OK, Let’s try one more psychic. Hopefully, this one’s the real deal. [Video] Maybe three or four minutes right now with your eyes closed Being able to really experience what it might mean to find her that mind’s eye Chakra and See how it affects your day. You up for it? [Erik] Yeah! [“Psychic”] Yeah, you are [Erik] Holy shit, how’d she know? [“Psychic”] I want you to let your eyes just kind of Softly look up at the inside of your forehead As if you could see the inside of your forehead right there in that area is that mind’s eye Chakra Another deep breath and another wave of bliss as you exhale now Mmm all the way out hmm. [Erik] Oh, whoa! Where’d that come from? Holy shit, that felt great! Whew, thanks, Wendy, you’re the real deal! [“Psychic”] Look at the program. It’s either down there over there over there depending what window you’re watching this in and Take a look there’s a huge bonus that goes with it if you buy it now. [Erik] Wait a second, psychics make money I thought they were just doing this for free. Hold up, wait. hang on, one goddamn second. Nobody told me that being a psychic made you money. Let’s see what kind of money you get here Dude, they make big money! Look how much this costs. Well shit, nobody told me being a psychic was big money Uhhhhhh HELLO, blessings. I’m the amazing Salvio [Music plays] [Play Fire Emblem] [Music plays] I feel such great energy from all of you today. Thank you so much for watching. Remember, I do accept Visa and Mastercard as well as PayPal, but not American Express because their refund policies and are not kind to merchants of truth such as I. Let us now give our blessings in the form Of a free reading to the people of YouNow! Would you like to– wait? What did that say? Would you like? I can’t even read it. I better be good at sports. What? Why? Blessings to you, child. Next! [YouNow] Blessings and hello. I am the amazing Sal– –Vio You want me to tell you your fortune? No, you were a dog in your past life. You were a stupid dog. And owner hated you so much he threw you in a river. That is why you were afraid of Rivers. I Like Rivers. [Erik] OH blessings to you [YouNow] Blessings and hello, I am the amazing Salvio! Want me to tell you your fortune? Sure, tell me my fortune The Amazing Salvio. Let’s see how’s it going. You have operations to remove two fingers from each hand change your name to Merkmock and And identify as toad warrior your mother will disapprove Call me Merkmock haha, bossy bitch! [Shitty music plays] Oh blessings, blessings, blessings [Shitty music continues] Oh blessings, blessings, blessings [Is this shitty music what plays in Hell?] [And it finally ends!] Oh! And, blessings to them well that’s it for the free trial. If you want to see more send your payment information to [email protected] But since I’m a psychic I can tell you already did that. So let’s continue along. This should be a fun psychic video! “Five fun psychic phenomena.” And play! Five fun physics phenomenon Oops, I think I read the title wrong. [Video] Number 4: take a piece of your favorite cereal and drop it into a bowl of water Then using a very strong magnet try to pull the cereal around. Isn’t that cool? So why is cereal magnetic? And finally five [Erik] Wait, you’re not Gonna tell us? What the fuck!? [Video] The teabag rocket take a tea bag– [Erik] Well, it’s come to my attention that the spirits are ready to speak Amazing Salvio away This video’s fake as fuck. The guy couldn’t even explain why his CGI did what it did. Really? My cereal is made of magnets The same thing that brought down Malaysian flight 370 give me a fucking break, dude. Anyway, blessings and if anyone out here wants a private reading just email me a pic your credit card. And postulate! yes That’s right. The Amazing Salvio also does private readings as well. Allow me to show you what one of those looks like. And dial! [Jack] Hello, Oh! [Erik] BLESSINGS Blessings to you, boy. I’m the amazing Salvio. [Jack] Eric, why are you wearing a Dashiki? Oh, Erik is no more. He wasn’t big money enough Now, there is only the amazing Salvio That doesn’t explain to the Dashiki. Okay? Well, How about I just read your fortune hMm [Jack] How long is that it gonna take, man? [Erik] Just a quick reading? But the spirits are telling me this is urgent Jacks of JacksFilm [Jack] all right. OK, I’m conferring with the spirits and oh oh, oh, this is bad. Oh Jackery you’re going to hate this Someone’s breaking into your home tonight. I see it with my own eyes w0t – YES, Young boy The spirits say he will steal your 72-inch television from Samsung. You know the plasma one. Real nice And he does know where the remote is so he’s taking that too. He’s also going upstairs now. Oh he’s Oh, he’s– He’s rifling through the closet, and he’s found a… a bunch of necklaces underneath the blue towel. Some sort of family heir loom – OK, how do you know that? Have you been snooping around my house? Hang on with all that, Jimmy. I also see that is going to take a shit in your refrigerator Erik, are you going to rob me and shit in my refrigerator? I told you Erik is no longer!!!! He wasn’t big money. Sorry, sorry blessings And by the way the spirits also want to impart warning not to go downstairs while this Masked maniac is there because he will have a chainsaw OK, thanks for the call great so that’ll be $75 for the reading uh All right, I guess I can venmo it to you or Perfect! Thanks, Jake. – It’s not my name – And hang-up Alright, everybody. Well, that’s it for today’s lesson Thank you so much for watching major blessings to everybody that I featured in today’s video and don’t forget to buy my book the amazing Savio’s guide to bouncing on your boy’s third eye Now, if you don’t mind me there’s something that I need to go take care of! [Music plays] [OH, GOD! The shitty music is back!] [Good old timey music plays]

100 Comments

  1. Sam Baz said:

    Best video on YouTube

    October 18, 2018
    Reply
  2. Philip Coats said:

    Damn I love these videos

    November 3, 2018
    Reply
  3. Ronita 69 said:

    He looked significantly more cooked after exhaling and finishing the sentence haha

    November 7, 2018
    Reply
  4. Pedozzi said:

    Lol veritasium

    November 15, 2018
    Reply
  5. dinnynosher said:

    ''Foreword by Small Money Erik..''

    November 18, 2018
    Reply
  6. Kit Thornton said:

    I don't like rude people, and I despise trolls. So why can't I stop laughing at this?! I am ashamed. And laughing.

    November 21, 2018
    Reply
  7. Skyler Russell said:

    I got an ad for an online psychic on this video. This lady asked a "psychic" if her boyfriend would cheat again and she said yes. Big shocker. Stuff like that is so fucking predatory, its just taking advantage of emotionally distressed people. By the way I got a vision that I'm about to bounce on my boys dick gtg brb lyl.

    November 22, 2018
    Reply
  8. ScoriacTears said:

    3:33 Are those the sacred plants you started on their life journey all those years ago? . . maan I want to enshrine them in My garden.

    November 28, 2018
    Reply
  9. Yet Another Felix said:

    Hot Dad brought me here

    December 1, 2018
    Reply
  10. 122yotam said:

    Dad is so hot

    December 1, 2018
    Reply
  11. Tristan said:

    Bounced on my boy's decalcified pineal gland to this for days in the mind realm although here on earth that was only a few seconds.

    December 2, 2018
    Reply
  12. Stale Cracker Jack Box said:

    Once I was driving and the inner voice in my head looked to a random car and I thought"
    "Hey that car could be the state patrol sheriff"
    I was immediately confused by that thought, and looked to my right – bam. the Sheriff pulls up in a big ole squad car for no reason at the same light as me! Not two seconds later.

    Pretty WHACKY.

    edit: it was 10 pm at night, so that made it 10x scarier.

    December 3, 2018
    Reply
  13. Nordryd said:

    Watching him troll YouNow dumbasses is the best. Even better is watching him troll people on chatroulette or omegle

    December 7, 2018
    Reply
  14. Shaman289 said:

    I literally was given an ad for a phone psychic when I clicked on this, YouTube algorithms are amazing.

    December 12, 2018
    Reply
  15. Alex said:

    BUT WHY IS THE CEREAL MAGNETIC?????????

    December 13, 2018
    Reply
  16. Hello Aliens said:

    The ad for this video is called:
    "Top Psychics
    Find your path to love and happiness.
    Chat now!"

    December 19, 2018
    Reply
  17. Egbert Wadman said:

    Why can no one on youknow read fluently?

    December 22, 2018
    Reply
  18. CleoPhoenix said:

    😆😆… there's iron in our cereal, Great Salvio.

    December 27, 2018
    Reply
  19. Rei said:

    Aaaand fulfil prophecy

    December 29, 2018
    Reply
  20. Fahad M said:

    Almmoosssttta milliiii

    December 29, 2018
    Reply
  21. tgbeast 13 said:

    my mom believes alot of the psychic bull shit and its really disappointing

    January 4, 2019
    Reply
  22. Nathan Hawks said:

    8:04
    The look on your face says "dude I have neighbors staring at me from both sides of my yard right now… shrug tally ho!"

    January 7, 2019
    Reply
  23. Emma Jackson said:

    ya look kinda like aphex twin when ya do that creepy thing with your mouth

    January 7, 2019
    Reply
  24. Hannah Engel said:

    i got an ad for an online psychic before this video 🙁

    January 14, 2019
    Reply
  25. israel cummings said:

    Hit or miss?

    January 17, 2019
    Reply
  26. Obligate Carnivore said:

    A famous psychic who will remain nameless because Alison Dubois is a litigious bitch once told me "you've an asshole, you've an asshole, you're an asshole with mommy isssues, you're an asshole". It would have been impressive if she said that before I called her a fraud, but no such luck.

    January 17, 2019
    Reply
  27. Sampo Heikkinen said:

    Watching these really makes me feel like drinking wine.

    January 30, 2019
    Reply
  28. Awesome Avenger's Faithful Canine Sidekick said:

    Wish I was a psychic. But I'm not. I'm just ordinary like the rest of yous losers =(

    February 2, 2019
    Reply
  29. Akanio Tevanos said:

    Totally thought the title read "Online Physics" totally mislead to believe this was going to inform me with knowledge and expand my head to a fedora stretching size, totally leaving a dislike jeez.

    February 4, 2019
    Reply
  30. Tosdadat said:

    2:18 you don't use your eyes to look at your third eye, that strains your eyes and makes them hurt. you sense it like you can sense your body, they would know this if they practiced, thought about it or read about it.

    February 6, 2019
    Reply
  31. Dacey Higgins said:

    I want a reading from the amazing Salvio. Blessings to you.

    February 8, 2019
    Reply
  32. unoriginalgoals said:

    So happy I got put on to you man. Big shout out to internet today.

    February 8, 2019
    Reply
  33. CWK KWC said:

    Murkmok is my new hero.

    February 9, 2019
    Reply
  34. Crazy Uncle Hank said:

    had a dream today dog licking hand and bottle of spirits? what you see it that?

    February 9, 2019
    Reply
  35. Rackneh said:

    Wait is the 72" plasma TV a Helsing reference?

    February 13, 2019
    Reply
  36. BHUSHA BHUSHA said:

    I wanted to know about the teabag rocket 😕

    February 14, 2019
    Reply
  37. Sasha said:

    I wonder how many ants there are…like total.

    February 18, 2019
    Reply
  38. Mahlon Jackson said:

    Alright you win. Subscribed hahshshs

    February 21, 2019
    Reply
  39. Paxton White said:

    Really like this one. The best part was the title of your new book. It seems that the whole episode was a lead up to the funniest thing I will see today.

    February 22, 2019
    Reply
  40. Albireo said:

    Why IS cereal magnetic?

    February 24, 2019
    Reply
  41. Gerdo Hoogkamp said:

    Blessssssings

    February 24, 2019
    Reply
  42. Bobjuniorman said:

    Good on Merkmok for being able to embrace his destiny like that.

    February 27, 2019
    Reply
  43. Tyler Kontra said:

    Amex bit is absolutely brilliant

    March 12, 2019
    Reply
  44. casperslakes said:

    I like how in this video the wall is practically still empty, clean, just a few paintings and vintage stuff. Now it's just.. a thing I guess

    March 23, 2019
    Reply
  45. grace sieben said:

    bounced on my boy's third eye to this

    March 31, 2019
    Reply
  46. Emily Silliman said:

    I am learning so much ☺️💫

    April 16, 2019
    Reply
  47. Lio Local Chibi Thief said:

    huh.. predicting a robbery than informing the victim via a service only to charge him/her extra after the fact? Erik, are you a sellsman?

    April 18, 2019
    Reply
  48. Sean Lord said:

    What the hell is Breast Enlargement Hypnosis at 3:07?

    April 19, 2019
    Reply
  49. Steven Tarsitano said:

    lmao, that second video, my first reaction was "i want whatever she's smoking" and then erik coughed up some smoke. lol it's like i predicted that joke i must be psychic.

    April 22, 2019
    Reply
  50. Vincent Moore said:

    YEP

    April 28, 2019
    Reply
  51. RipJaws1 said:

    fuck yeah merkmok

    April 30, 2019
    Reply
  52. Bottle of Nuka Cola said:

    At 0:00 i phycinised the fact that you will slap your enter key

    Edit: I’m right

    May 4, 2019
    Reply
  53. Glorious Content said:

    Someone call James Randi!

    June 1, 2019
    Reply
  54. Gravesie Wavesiie said:

    fuck it’s 2 am help

    June 2, 2019
    Reply
  55. Samuel Spamson said:

    can i have the 72inch screen plasma when your done

    June 22, 2019
    Reply
  56. Uncomfortable Cat said:

    5:11
    Hahaha

    June 28, 2019
    Reply
  57. David Lewis said:

    Fancy banging the fuck out of me?

    June 30, 2019
    Reply
  58. noah torres said:

    You need to make a dvd id buy the shit out of all the seasons

    July 1, 2019
    Reply
  59. FiN said:

    big mind salvio

    July 5, 2019
    Reply
  60. brickshitter said:

    You sure you weren't in Jethro Tull?

    July 9, 2019
    Reply
  61. Elie Raskin said:

    I tried to get my mind read by this guy and all he did was moan and yell Bush did 9/11 the entire time which had nothing to do with me since I'm not Bush or his dad so I think he's full of shit. He had a pack of Yugio cards in the corner of his closet and started to mug me with them at the end. 4 stars on Yelp.

    July 14, 2019
    Reply
  62. AwfulMusik said:

    Hey amazing salvio I had a question for you, when do I die and is there anything I can do to make it happen sooner and more efficiently? Thanks for the reading, every time I nut I think of you. This video is old but I still want to die and I believe you're the only one who can help me so whatever no one will see this so I may as well admit that I get off to horse porn and photoshopped images of teddy Roosevelt finger blasting his boi pussy and one time when I was little I peed in a cup and gave it to my grandmother mixed with some sweet and low and I can't remember if she ended up drinking it or not but she never complained and she's dead now anyway so I guess it doesn't matter. Anywho thanks again Mr Salvio and keep up the good work, I have a rash on my inner thighs and I play with my asshole sometimes.

    Here's a nut 🥜 for you to bust on your boi's boi hole after you're done bouncing on his D like I know you're so fond of doing

    July 24, 2019
    Reply
  63. xx92 Forest said:

    Jacks acting is goddamn amazing when getting the reading

    July 26, 2019
    Reply
  64. Mike Wright said:

    I knew I had an idea I've seen you before. Fucking Big Money Salvia song.

    July 27, 2019
    Reply
  65. Drag Down said:

    Breast Enlargement Hypnosis

    July 30, 2019
    Reply
  66. Aidan Gillard said:

    You're not subscribed to veritasium???

    July 30, 2019
    Reply
  67. Sofa King said:

    Hey Erik the magnetic cereal thing is real there are small metal fragments in cereal

    August 1, 2019
    Reply
  68. Shannon Bassett said:

    Hey big money Salvio when are you going to go back to your Salvia self. My dad is kinda like you in the fact that he would abandon his kids for money, but at least you don't kick the dog before you leave. Well also like my dad I haven't seen you in years. Mark Zuccerburg loves you.

    August 1, 2019
    Reply
  69. Clair Bolthouse said:

    he is literally so adorable WHOLESOME

    August 2, 2019
    Reply
  70. Kurt Wagner said:

    The cereal thing wasn't CGI at all lol. Water is diamagnetic thats why the cereal moves…

    August 3, 2019
    Reply
  71. Squirt Reynolds said:

    On a day with so many sad events in the news….. I needed this 😊

    August 4, 2019
    Reply
  72. Thatoneguy said:

    I got an ad for psychic readings as soon as this video ended

    August 5, 2019
    Reply
  73. mark withasea said:

    Really thought this was "physics"

    August 5, 2019
    Reply
  74. 0ThrowawayAccount0 said:

    It is pretty sad seeing the toll alcohol is taking on this dude's body. Besides the obvious weight gain, seeing his face vasodilated from the booze getting worse in each sequential video makes you really appreciate all the hardship Erik is putting his liver, renal, and cardiovascular system though. He is like those dudes that have concussions but without the fanfare and without the medical coverage which is made even worse given this dude lives the in the States. I hope he can find peace mentally and physically so he can continue punishing his body for our entertainment but most importantly, so he can continue bouncing on his boy's dick for hours. He has a (hopefully) long path ahead of him; I cannot wait for the video where he ascends YouTube right as his audience matures out of these videos and the government finally acknowledges that Bush did 9/11. Well, off to suck my girlfriend's dick while listening to world-acclaimed rapper Crib Def.

    (_)_)================D~~~~~~~~ FUCK YOU, TED CRUZ

    August 6, 2019
    Reply
  75. Your rekt dreams said:

    At first I thought it said "online PHYSICS" and then I realized I'm a dumbfuck who can't spell.

    August 6, 2019
    Reply
  76. mr lol said:

    The next time Jonathan streams, I’m gonna tell him that

    August 9, 2019
    Reply
  77. Jayden Calderon said:

    Blessings Salvio. Thanks to this video I have seen that I too am a psychic. My first premonition is that I’m gonna take a hot steamy shit on my dog’s face. But I do not have a dog so who’s dog am I shitting on? Better go ask my neighbor with the dog and find out. Namaste.

    August 10, 2019
    Reply
  78. Jazzaroful said:

    Yo I just got an ad for psychic readinds lol

    August 14, 2019
    Reply
  79. p rodriguez said:

    I love you ERik!

    August 17, 2019
    Reply
  80. Lolita Lecter said:

    I've been having a horrible time with life lately, and this video had me laughing until tears were streaming down my face. Thanks for the pick-me-up, Great Salvio! Many blessings! Real talk, love all your videos Erik 💖

    August 18, 2019
    Reply
  81. Unlikely Lee said:

    The whole video was claimed for that?

    August 19, 2019
    Reply
  82. Yana Korovina said:

    I like to imagine that the entire bit with Jacksfilms was entirely unplanned.

    August 19, 2019
    Reply
  83. Bullma792 said:

    Dude I got an Ad trying to sell online psychics LMAO

    August 20, 2019
    Reply
  84. Francesca Bertoglio Padilla said:

    An add about psychics appeared to me before your video…

    August 22, 2019
    Reply
  85. Limp Weasel said:

    The worst part of this video is that Erik uses Skype

    August 22, 2019
    Reply
  86. Stand Out of My Sun said:

    god it was absolute cringe when that kids started dancing

    August 22, 2019
    Reply
  87. Hserf Redwop Edalg said:

    Love when a quarter gets flipped into my butthole

    August 25, 2019
    Reply
  88. MrSantafe100 said:

    Salvia I am getting a psychic ad. You can´t make this stuff up

    August 28, 2019
    Reply
  89. Carlos said:

    Jacksfilms is kinda stanky

    August 30, 2019
    Reply
  90. SuperNeutral said:

    Ps I hope you live until your dead fuck

    August 31, 2019
    Reply
  91. Haris82 said:

    I seen this video 15 times now, still makes me happy.

    August 31, 2019
    Reply
  92. Nick MaGrick said:

    I just remember I found this channel from that comment on the cheerio video and this was the first I ever watched. Ahh memories.

    August 31, 2019
    Reply
  93. Rei said:

    these comments are dark

    August 31, 2019
    Reply
  94. mental said:

    He looks so happy in the last scene, it's so pleasant

    September 1, 2019
    Reply
  95. theflowerhead said:

    Of all my binging episodes on YouTube this is the best. 🙏

    September 1, 2019
    Reply
  96. DADDYS_ ASS_SNACCC said:

    I like the mixed pull-up guy 👍

    September 2, 2019
    Reply
  97. GiveMeTheNoodles 413 said:

    Bought the book, currently bouncing on my boy's 3rd eye to this video, thank you, Amazing Salvio.

    September 3, 2019
    Reply
  98. Youngster Joey said:

    Yo Salvio thanks for the book bounced on my boy’s third eye to it for hours

    September 7, 2019
    Reply
  99. Felix Graham said:

    hehe, battletoads

    September 7, 2019
    Reply
  100. Lowehomie121 said:

    Leafy video in the recommended @ 2:34.

    September 12, 2019
    Reply

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